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Satire

A day at the seaside with Grandad Schwab

Heidi and Jürgen were so excited they could hardly contain themselves. It was the first day of the school holidays and Grandad Schwab was coming round to take them to the seaside for the day. The children couldn’t remember much about Grandad Schwab, as they had not seen him for at least two years. He lived a long way away and he was always very busy working on important things like the New World Order. But they assumed he would be just as funny and entertaining as their other Grandad who they regularly saw every month.

 

The cuckoo clock went off at 9 o’clock and there was a knock on the front door at precisely the same time. Heidi and Jürgen jumped for joy as they followed Daddy Schwab to the front door. “Grandad Schwab, Grandad Scwab!” the children sung out in unison.

 

“Hello children,” said Grandad Schwab in a sombre tone.

 

The children’s other Grandad often used to bring them little gifts, which he would hide under his floppy fishing hat. Grandad Schwab wasn’t wearing a hat and the children looked up at him inquisitively wondering if there would be gifts hidden somewhere about his person.

 

“You vill both need to vear vun of zees,” said Grandand Schwab as he took a pink GPS tracking bracelet out of his inside pocket and fastened it to Heidi’s wrist…(to be continued)